Ward 22

So after waiting another 2 hours for a bed to be free a lady walks in and says "put a pad and your knickers on there is a bed free now. There will be a wheel chair outside the door" and then she walked off. Ok, thanks for that. Iv just had my first experience of giving birth, haven't walked in 5 hours after a traumatic stitching session and have never had a catheter in. How the hell do i do this? Luckily my best friend Miss B was visiting along with Mr C's family so with the help of Miss B and my sister in law i managed to get a pad and some knicker on and waddled to the door where there was of course no wheel chair waiting at the door and no one that knew what was going on. Nice one lady. So after reminding the lady i needed a wheel chair we all made our way up stairs.

3 visitors at a time was never going to work with Mr C's big family and mine wanting to get in and see Miss Eva Rae, so one by one they worked their way in. By the time i got to my bed visiting time was almost over. It was so nice to see everyone just to remind me i wast dreaming. Slightly scary as everyone was leaving, I felt a wave of emotions come over me that i was now to look after and care for this little human. I was thinking am I really capable?

On the aftercare front i was so surprised to have been in my bed for an hour or more before anyone had come to see me. I know it might be obvious how to change a nappy but not having changed one before it would be nice to be shown first. I was going to attempt breast feeding but it was proving difficult as there was no one to show and help me again. Feeling like a nuisance i rang the bell anyway. They were really nice in helping me just disappointed that I was left for so long before anyone came to see me. I think it was because of the change over in staff.

Once she was fed and changed, i placed her in the cot and couldn't stop starring at her, everything just felt SO surreal. I was really tired but i couldn't sleep as i was running of adrenaline, plus the lady opposite was snoring like a trooper!

I also couldn't sleep as i kept getting freaked out that she was choking every time she made a gagging noise which would bring up fluids and mucus. Gross but not gross when its from a tiny baby, especially your own. She stirred once or twice and i settled her with cuddles lying her on my chest, THE best feeling in the world. Its true the love you have for your baby is different then any other kind of love. Does this love really continue even when they are stroppy teenagers? I guess so.