Midlife crisis at 28

So this week I completely freaked out. All of a sudden I went in to panic mode that I haven't lived and now I'm having a baby. I started reminiscing about my girls holidays in Miami and Cancun. Good times, in fact great times! I then started looking at club photos on social networking sites of girls who have maybe tanned a little to much, wearing very little clothes, over the top eyelashes, big backcombed hair and layers of make up, surrounded by different guys in every picture and started to compare myself. You know the girls that guys say they don't want for a wife but yet that's all they are chasing because all they want is fun. Should I have been more of a party girl? Would I have had more fun meeting lots of guys and getting lots of attention?  Probably not, I hate small talk with guys who are trying to get your number. So why the hell am I freaking out now?

I know just because I am having a baby that my life wont stop and I can still go out and have lots of fun but reputation is important to me so does being a mum mean you have to act a certain way? but that sounds boring, right? I know I'm completely over thinking the situation way to much!

So after calming down I thought back, of course I have lived! The difference between me and those girls I am comparing myself to is 5 years+ they are early 20's and I'm nearly bloody 30, Ive been there and done all the partying/spring break ect. I have spent all week reliving my Mondays at the Works, Kingston. Tuesdays in the Litten Tree, Slough, Saturday nights spent at Destiny's, Watford and random nights in Matrix, Reading not to mention the crazy one off raves in Eros, North London and Ally Pally.  In between appointments Iv been playing Heartless Crew full blast dancing around the studio like I was 16 again with my bad garage dance moves.

Ah I feel sorry for kids these days that missed out. Raving without wannabes. When boys didn't pretend to be ballers and girls weren't chasing VIP tables to get a free drink.

So of course listening to all the old skool tunes have made me want a night out so bad. When do you stop going out when you are pregnant? Iv always looked at girls who are clearly sporting a bump and have thought if that was my friend I would be telling her to keep her ass at home. Dinner and a small bar, yes, maybe but a club, no! So where do you stand when you are coming up to 6 months but not sporting a bump but you may see people that know, does this still look bad? I'm not sure. I don't know why I'm considering nights out as I am a complete wall flower when I'm out without a alcoholic beverage.

How do you have fun when your pregnant and not going out? Weekends have become such a bore and hearing of everyone going out and having amazing nights including Mr C is slightly depressing. Maybe I would be ok if I was at home eating my favourite food but everything I love your not allowed. Boooo.