Is this "The Secret" book for good parenting?

Is there even such a thing? I had a little catch up with my girlfriend Miss H. Our friendship began at Venture Photography and has blossomed ever since. Mainly moaning about men! Another photographer at the studio has recently returned after being on maternity leave and Miss H said she is like superwoman. Her little girl is the most amazing, happy baby and that she has got her routine down to a T. She said you need the book! What book? Will this be my new bible?


She found out it was called The New Contented Little Baby Book: The Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting by Gina Ford.

So straight on Amazon I was, great, I found it! Oh...don't you just hate it when books look so 80's, why haven't they designed a nice new modern hard back and changed the picture with the times. I guess the info inside is more important then how the book looks itself. The reviews sound amazing this is one book I will be testing. After i wrote this post I saw another mummy status update on Facebook say "Ive just brought Potty training by Gina Ford, wish me luck" Is she like the dog whisper for babies? How does everyone know about her?


Reviews


'Gina Ford is the Delia Smith of parenting...while Delia tells you how to make the perfect omelette, Gina Ford in her baby-care manual The Contented Little Baby Book, draws on 30 years' experience to tell you how to nurture the perfectly happy baby.', YOU Magazine .


'for me she was an absolute godsend', Kate Winslet, Baby & You .


"It is hard to overestimate the good she has done...How to reward this great benefactor of mankind?...My wife takes the view that only sainthood will do.", Peter Osborne, Political Editor, The Spectator .


'"I devoured it (Contented Little Baby Book) in one sitting. It was hilarious. The claim that a baby of five months could be trained to sleep from 7am to 7pm made me laugh out loud. Little did I realise that this was the start of my conversion to the gospel according to St Gina. That Gina Ford would soon acquire an almost divine status in my life....I look back on my BGE (Before Gina Era) and think of how many of my babies has cried and cried as I ever more desperately struggled to get them to sleep....My only regret, of course, is that Gina did not write her book years ago, when my older children were born. I look in the mirror and wonder what a difference that would have made to the bags under my eyes. If motherhood had always been as easy as it seems this time, I might not have had five children - but 10. Maybe Ruth Kelly's secrets is that she has a copy of St Gina."', Martine Oborne, Evening Standard 


Turns out there is a dog whisper for babies and the book looks a little more current. I'm such a sucker for presentation and packaging. This book also has great reviews. I am still steering towards Gina Ford because it has been recommended by someone I know but will check both out in store before buying from Amazon.

Has anyone tried and tested either of these books or swear by another? Or are baby books a complete waste of time and you should just go with your instincts? 

Ill let you in on a little secret...

So after my mid life crisis freak out, I calmed down and reverted back to my bible for a quick slap in the face. Ive never been big on religion but have always enjoyed reading about the laws of attraction. Its simple,  If you have a negative out look on life then you will only attract negative people and situations around you. The Secret by Rhonda Bryan help you change your mind set and thinking to a positive out look to attract everything you want from life. Ask, Believe and Receive.

I first read the secret about 3 years ago. Everyone sub-consciously lives by these teaching without realising. How else did I get to travel to some of the most beautiful countries in the world including, Thailand, Dubai, Mexico, Miami and Cuba, on a part time salary (not having read the book). Its because I always believed if I book this holiday it will be ok ill find the money and that's when situations like unpaid bonuses and tax rebates would pop up in my life. On the other hand I could have thought, no point planning a holiday iv got no money and then that would have simply been the case. Make sense?

Another case study of mine.

I didn't get my first full time job until I was 26. Once I decided I wanted to move from graphic design into photography, I also decided I didn't want to go back and study. I hated uni and was awful at writing essays. Why they make creative people write essays i do not know. So no to studying, whats next? I would need to look for a studio job but I had no confidants because I had no experience. The only local studio that I found was Venture Photography in Eton. A franchise of the Uk's leading portrait company. Could I really go in at the top? Or should I start with a company like Pixiefoto, who's work I absolutely detest. I then read The Secret and thought F it, I found the confidants and told myself I will work at Venture Photography at their lovely Eton branch.

So for a good year I kept checking their careers section for a trainee position but there was nothing. I even contacted them about work experience but they didn't have anything at the time. In the mean time I done a few short courses and carried on teaching myself.  I even actually applied for Pixie fotos as I just wanted to get some experience but I never even got a call. I then saw a position for a trainee photographer at Venture in Kingston but again not even a call back. I was determined not to give up, I really enjoyed photography and knew this is what I wanted to do full time. It only took me nearly 10 years after leaving school to realise what it is i really wanted to do, not be a librarian like the career adviser advised. What a waste of time they were! 

Then one day there it is was I saw a post on Gumtree and Photographers.co.uk for a Trainee photographer at Eton. I drafted my cv and as always I annoyed my best friend Miss B to proof read it for me and off it went. With in an hour I got a call. It was them ringing to arrange an interview. I felt so confident even with no experience, I just kept thinking positive thoughts like The Secret. Long and short of it, after a number of candidates it came down to me and an older gentlemen who was technically brilliant. It turns out you can know photography inside out but still have no people or customer service skills. The job was mine!

There are many great example in the book to help see life in a positive light to attract what you want. She talks about all areas of life from relationships to financial and health issues. Some people will say its all a coincidence and its just luck and timing but I do honestly believe what ever vibes you put out  that's the frequency you will ride.

I have been really negative lately, I have actually bored myself with my conversations being so negative and depressing with friends. I know Friends are there to listen but if I was them I would be bored of listening to me. Obviously starting a new business was never going to be easy but I attracted my studio because I have always pictured working for myself and I am so proud of that. However instead of staying positive through out the tough times I felt like I lost the reins and everything spiralled out of control. One bad thought after another. I didn't have one ounce of positivity left in me, I was in self destruction mode but as soon as I snapped out of it and went back to being positive and changed my mind set back, one good thing after another started to happen again. So its back to the secret for me. See it here

You heard it hear first, I am going to win the euro millions one day, I just need to start playing!

Do children really bring you joy?

I cant help but look at children in the high street having tantrums, screaming and throwing themselves all over the place, whilst mums stand all flustered and frustrated. I cant help but think what have I let myself in for. Having someone completely dependant on you for life because it doesn't just stop when there are 18 or even 28, I should know I still depend on my mum. It doesn't have to be financial but emotionally. Your parents are the ones who you expect to be there through the ups and especially the downs, no matter what age. And when you need help who do you call on first? Your parents, well ok your mum. Thats going to be me!

Yes babies and children are cute but what about when they become stroppy teenagers. How is that joyful? I was horrible, a right old cow when I turned 13, thankfully I grew out of that, I think. You would have to ask my mother. I even remember both my brothers going through that horrible, non talking and grunting at everything stage and mum worrying every time they went out. When I told my dad I was pregnant he said children will bring you so much joy and heartbreak. Heartbreak? Bloody hell,  Why do we want to put ourselves through that? Life is a funny old thing. I guess I will find out the meaning of joy and heartbreak on my journey of motherhood.

I have only just learnt to cook and look after myself so this really will be my next greatest challenge in life.  Bringing up and teaching a baby to become a little person, to become a teenager and then to be a respectable adult. Most importantly I will be teaching her to love mummy more then daddy and look after me when I'm old and not stick me in a nursing home!

I guess you can only take each day as it comes, learn and grow together. Hey I love a challenge! Bring it on.

Midlife crisis at 28

So this week I completely freaked out. All of a sudden I went in to panic mode that I haven't lived and now I'm having a baby. I started reminiscing about my girls holidays in Miami and Cancun. Good times, in fact great times! I then started looking at club photos on social networking sites of girls who have maybe tanned a little to much, wearing very little clothes, over the top eyelashes, big backcombed hair and layers of make up, surrounded by different guys in every picture and started to compare myself. You know the girls that guys say they don't want for a wife but yet that's all they are chasing because all they want is fun. Should I have been more of a party girl? Would I have had more fun meeting lots of guys and getting lots of attention?  Probably not, I hate small talk with guys who are trying to get your number. So why the hell am I freaking out now?

I know just because I am having a baby that my life wont stop and I can still go out and have lots of fun but reputation is important to me so does being a mum mean you have to act a certain way? but that sounds boring, right? I know I'm completely over thinking the situation way to much!

So after calming down I thought back, of course I have lived! The difference between me and those girls I am comparing myself to is 5 years+ they are early 20's and I'm nearly bloody 30, Ive been there and done all the partying/spring break ect. I have spent all week reliving my Mondays at the Works, Kingston. Tuesdays in the Litten Tree, Slough, Saturday nights spent at Destiny's, Watford and random nights in Matrix, Reading not to mention the crazy one off raves in Eros, North London and Ally Pally.  In between appointments Iv been playing Heartless Crew full blast dancing around the studio like I was 16 again with my bad garage dance moves.

Ah I feel sorry for kids these days that missed out. Raving without wannabes. When boys didn't pretend to be ballers and girls weren't chasing VIP tables to get a free drink.

So of course listening to all the old skool tunes have made me want a night out so bad. When do you stop going out when you are pregnant? Iv always looked at girls who are clearly sporting a bump and have thought if that was my friend I would be telling her to keep her ass at home. Dinner and a small bar, yes, maybe but a club, no! So where do you stand when you are coming up to 6 months but not sporting a bump but you may see people that know, does this still look bad? I'm not sure. I don't know why I'm considering nights out as I am a complete wall flower when I'm out without a alcoholic beverage.

How do you have fun when your pregnant and not going out? Weekends have become such a bore and hearing of everyone going out and having amazing nights including Mr C is slightly depressing. Maybe I would be ok if I was at home eating my favourite food but everything I love your not allowed. Boooo.

Warm jelly on my belly

The past week has flown by but the 4 weeks previous were the longest 4 weeks ever!

The count down for Monday 6th February 2012 was over. 10am I texted Mr C "Are you excited?" a man of not many word i was expecting a "yeah" but he said "Ive been up since 6am, I cant wait!"

Me either, I thought the day was going to drag as the appointment wasnt until 3pm but after doing some work and running some errands Mr C and i were en route to our 20 week scan.

So there I was again on the bed, with warm jelly on my belly.

This is more of an intense scan that takes up to 20 minutes and is amazing how much they can see and check, even down to a clef pallet.

You always just assume everything is ok but you just dont know.

Just like the sex you just dont know its  50/50.

Mr C's family is predomitly girls and the last 6 babies have been boys in my family and no girls since my cousin Jenna which was over 25 years ago. So pressure from either side for the opposite sex.

And so the sex....

of course its A GIRL! ha ha BUT she didnt say it confidently as bean kept crossing her legs. She looked again at the end and said "im going to go with a girl, it looks very flat in that area" knowing my luck in life a winkey was probably hiding and it will actually be a boy! She said she is 95% sure.

She was already being a madam, playing up,  rolling and jumping around when the lady was trying to check her spinal cord. Also pouting a lot she must get that from her father, ha ha.

I never understood people uploading scans to social networking sites and never thought i would think much of a scan but I actually fall more and more in love with her every time I look at it and find the scan really cute!

I just feel so happy and excited to being another step closer to knowing our baby. Mr C said of course he is a little bit gutted but is blessed she is healthy and everything is ok and that he cant wait to meet her now. I feel a little bit gutted for him but girls are always "Daddy's girls" and boys "Mummy's boys" so I never understand why the majority of guys desperatly want a boy. It must come down to doing sports and activities together instead of watching dance shows! However i grew up a bit of a tomboy climbing trees and play fighting and then grew into a lady, we could have the best of both.

To know or not to know?

To find out the baby's sex or not?

Boy or Girl, Does it matter?

I have always said if and I when I get pregnant I would never find out the sex. It's the biggest surprise you will ever have in life that no one can't spoil.

Well that all went out the window! Mr C is desperate to find out the sex as he would really like a boy. He said he could find out and not tell me or anyone. I do believe he would be very good at not telling me but I want to share the experience of knowing the sex together either at birth or at the scan.

Looks like he wins we are going to find out. I don't mind now as when I was previously looking around the stores it is hard to get excited when you are looking at neutral colours and not being a huge fan of yellow I was finding it difficult. I also noticed that there is not a lot of unisex clothes in stores, probably due to the fact a huge percentage of people do find out the sex these days.

We were going to go back to future babies and pay for an early gender scan at 16 weeks but i had a tantrum and decided to be mean and make Mr C wait. Yep my crazy hormones were present. I then decided actually maybe we should but then thought again and at £95 I felt like I would rather have the free hospital scan and then spend that £95 on clothes.

When the little bean is kicking Mr C will always say "that's my boy". Oh i do wish he would stop because it is so going to be a girl now. Saying that I have had a feeling it was going to be a boy all along, until this week I all of a sudden thought im not sure now.

Pregnant women still get PMT right?

Week 13 & 14

I've been super emotional/hormonal and have been a right old misreable and moany cow, taking everything out on Mr C and i mean everything, even things that have nothing to do with him. Being a typical man he has no understanding of female hormones so makes everything 10 times worst.

In his defence i have been HORRIBLE. You know when you feel crazy, you know your acting crazy and you know when to STOP but you just cant! Yep thats me!

Week 15

Everyone is asking me if i have had that "butterfly feeling" ?

hmmmm maybe or it just wind :/

Week 16-19

No mistaking feeling the baby's movement for wind. It started of with very light, i call them "pops" and has now gone on to non stop moving and kicking. Sometimes at work it catches me of guard and makes me jump if i am sitting with my legs up on the computer chair. Typically it would be at night when I am trying to wind down and sleep but non the less it is a lovely feeling.

So Wexham Park Hospital it is....

Wow, we are already on our way to our first hospital scan.

What a lovely experience to see how the bean has developed into a small baby.

I have left our scan picture at Mr C's house so will upload at a later date. Im not going to lie, it is a little bit scary and has a very bighead.

My sister in law asked me to send a copy of the picture and then said "they have big heads at this stage dont they"

Phew...its not just ours! I did begin to worry without being shallow. It's not all about looks but you just want your baby to be healthy, right.

Decisions

Whats worst aborting an unplanned baby or bringing a baby in to a less then perfect relationship?

I always imagine I would be having a planned baby in a happy, loving, perfect and secure relationship. Taking a pregnancy test together, seeing the result together and jumping for joy but life just doesn't go to plan does it. Especially mine. After days of talk Mr C and I have decided to bring a baby in to this world together. We both have lots of family and friends who are very excited, we have no doubt this baby will be dearly loved by us and them.

Development of a baby start immediately and there is no slowing down from week 1. Obviously I knew it started straight away but I didn't realise just how fast everything takes place and at such a small size. The facts amazed me. I know have a greater understanding for campaigners who are so against abortions. I can see the argument from both sides but this would be a very long post if I was to carry on.

I could go on to write loads about the amazing facts but instead I wont bore you and would recommend downloading an App for your phone that gives you a nice brief but detailed description from week 1 right through to week 42.

So join me in my journey of pregnancy and being a first time mum.

Scared? YES pooing my pants!

The morning after the positive pregnancy test!

So it all makes sense, I weren't being sick because I was anxious about work I was sick twice after eating porridge because I was pregnant! As you can imagine I havent eaten porridge since that day.

I didn't feel nausea after so pregnancy didn't even cross my mind and i just put it down to work stress.

Ok so the test was done and apparently I am pregnant. I still didn't believe it as the line was very faint and later that evening the line had gone! *confused face

I called Nicola and said its ok it's a false alarm im not pregnant!

I had mix feelings, I wasnt sure if I was happy or disappointed.

Nicola was like are you sure? I think you should do another one! So I done another one the next day and again the line was very faint.

Who ever reads the instruction or the small print? Well do now! I decided it would be a good idea to read commonly asked questions and there is was, What happens if the line fades away? A: The result will stay present for up to 10 minutes. Any change after should be disregarded.

Ok then! I guess i am up the duff!

I called to make a doctor's appointment but they wouldn't book me in to see the midwife until I was 8 weeks! I was so surprised you can't see the doctor to do a test to confirm. They said tests are 99% accurate.

The moment the second line appears...

Holy crap im pregnant!

Woooohooooo... im pregnant!

Yes, yes, yes!

No,No,No!

Taking a pregnancy test can be a life changing moment and we will all have different reactions. Planned or not planned. Tears of joy or tears of sadness. Everyone is different.

Mine went a little like this.....

Friday morning, 9am, sitting alone in my studio flat i peed on a stick that was about to tell me if my life is about to change forever.

Waiting..............

Longest 2 minutes of my life ever! One blue line and then.....two blue lines!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaa. I burst out into tears. I then called my best friend of 20 years.

Nic: Hey

Me: Hi Nic, can you talk?

Nic: No

Me: Ok

Nic: Alright then.... bye

Me: NO actually Nic I really need to talk!

Nic: Oh no whats wrong are you sad?

Me: No im pregnant!

SILENCE......Long pause

Nic: Oh

SILENCE......Long pause

Turns out Nicola's boss and a number of colleagues were stood at her desk, hence why she couldn't talk!

Nicola is not very good at lying or concealing her expressions or emotions so I can just imagine her face as her colleagues stood staring at her strangely.

After leaving her desk and telling me this I quickly went from crying to laughing my head off!